Comming soons

Probably the most exciting news on my side of the pond (as a writer friend of mine would say) is that my wife has now become pregnant with our first child. A testament to the fact that, although I really tried, I was unsuccessful in destroying my fertility with drug and alcohol abuse. The coming creature has decided to attempt entrance into this world in June of this year. For those of you who are under the belief that 2012 is the end and blah…blah…blah. My child may be the one who will herald this end of days. If this is the case, I wish to offer my sincerest apologies and condolences to the pets that you will leave behind.

Although I have found myself completely inept at maintaining a website through regular updates, I have convinced myself that that just means that each one of my posts is that much more special. I have made resolutions to be more vigilant in providing my readers with more posts in the new year. Of course, I had also made a resolution to quit drinking this year. However, since I received several bottles of very good scotch from various friends over the holiday, this has become increasingly unlikely. Therefore, I wouldn’t put too much stock in me posting more either.

Drugs and Pancakes is off at my editor/friend/antagonist and will be given the attention that is deserved as long as I visit him often bringing food and beer. There are many chapters on this site for your viewing pleasure.

I’m also in negotiations with TheToneKing.com to become a regular contributor with my very own article series where I will inundate the world with my knowledge of all the horrifying things that are in my head.

A short story that I wrote titled Uncanny Valley will be available in early February for purchase with your brand new Kindles through Amazon. Many of my fans are already familiar with this story, but I will be making minor revisions for the new format. Following that, two other short stories will also be made available later in the year for you to bathe in.

So, in surmation:

1- Baby

2 – More posts (maybe)

3 – Drugs and Pancakes

4 – New Stories!

5 – Bathing (maybe)

Take care loyal followers and don’t let certain doom curtail your otherwise sunny dispositions.

 

 

Resolution: Drugs and Pancakes

Pulling a Marlboro out of his pack with his teeth, he reached into his pocket to pull out his Zippo. The silver casing shimmered around the engraving BOB, reminding Durwin of his Christian middle-school education with its notions of places where everything was white glowing, gleaming, and bright.

Romantic notions of creatures that know that they’ll be dead soon.

Durwin thought of a joke that one of his fellow students told him once: Santa Clause, God, and The Easter Bunny walk into a bar. Santa and the Easter Bunny both complain that, once children grow up, they stop believing in them. The Easter Bunny looks to God and asks him why human beings continue to believe in him when they become adults, but God doesn’t say anything. The Easter Bunny turns back to Santa and asks, “Why isn’t he answering me?” Santa throws back his drink, and with a voice tightened by a shot of whiskey replies, “Because he’s a figment of your fucking imagination.”

Durwin considered that he didn’t want a place where he could meet up with everyone else after he was dead. Dead is a place for quiet, not conversation or hymns. Leave him to the quiet songs of feasting worms and settling dirt.

Still Drunk But Still Working

Suggested Audio Accompaniment: Dr. Worm by They Might Be Giants

Good evening all. I’m at home writing on a Friday night not because I am a lonely sad individual, but because I am a lonely sad individual who will be balls-to-the-walls busy for the next five days. Hopefully, in-between the clusterfux of things that I has gots myself into, I will be able to meet with my editor who will, heretofore, be known as, “He who’s beverage must be beer.” Although I have sent my newest brilliant manuscript, Drugs and Pancakes, he holds true to the adage “One must be sufficiently intoxicated and with sufficiently intoxicated company in order for progress to be achieved sufficiently.” I’m pretty sure that was Jesus.

So, on the agenda.

New Vids:

The recent episode of On the Mark was put on hold because of another video that needed to be completed for the safety of mankind. But, fear not, both will make their debuts in November. And I promise, they will be tasty.
New Songs:

You may have already noticed that I posted the new epic masterpiece, Dark Creation. There are others on the way that will rival Dark in its epicness as well as its masterpieceness.

New Writs:

More excerpts from Drugs and Pancakes are coming. Try not to wet yourself.

New Audiobookstuff:

More excerpts of the Becoming audiobook will be posted next week. That way, you can fall asleep listening to my  melodious voice.

 

Much love to all of yous.

 

M

 

On the Menu: Drugs and Pancakes

There’s been some excitement surrounding my next novel Drugs and Pancakes, which in turn makes me excited, which makes me write better, I think…. So, to those who are making me excited (that really didn’t come out the way I thought it would), Drugs and Pancakes is less than four pages til completion! That’s right. Soon, you too will be able to enjoy a plentiful serving of humorous teen angst paired with illicit sex and drug abuse!  Well, unless you count the arduous months of consulting (battling belligerently)  with my drunken rage-filled editor. So, rejoice in the hopes that Drugs and Pancakes will be served sometime before the end of the year.

M

More Drugs and More Pancakes (NSFW)

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“Hello?” It was a deep gravely voice. “Dad?” David recognized the voice. “Hey boy. How are you doing?” It was his father. David was accustomed to talking to his parents when he was high, but, at the moment, he was … Continue reading

More Drugs and More Pancakes

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It didn’t take long for James to come along and nudge him with his fat stump of an arm. As large as a mountain and twice as silent, James didn’t say anything when David staggered up and glared at him … Continue reading

Drugs and Pancakes II

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Vasovaga Syncope is a fainting episode mediated by the Vagus Nerve. Tabor’s Medical Dictionary describes this as a “feeling of impending death.” David compared it to already being dead. No dreams, no ability to tell if any time has passed, … Continue reading

Drugs And Pancakes II

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This gallery contains 1 photo.

Vasovaga Syncope is a fainting episode mediated by the Vagus Nerve. Tabor’s Medical Dictionary describes this as a “feeling of impending death.” David compared it to already being dead. No dreams, no ability to tell if any time has passed, … Continue reading

Drugs and Pancakes (Excerpt)

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Monday finally decided to show its ugly face, and Dom welcomed its ghoulish grin as a relief from a weekend wrought with unrelieved sexual frustration and drama. While belligerently stumbling down the halls of Streamwood High, he lifted his head … Continue reading